I have some things to clear up. In fact, I have many things to clear up. The past few centuries have allowed for the world to see me in a light that is painted only by the winner of an ancient battle. That light is not true; that light is not accurate, and I am here today to show you the truest way.
Yes; some of you might call be the Devil. Some of you might call me Satan. It is a name I have become accustomed to. You think I am the harbinger of evil and the Father of Darkness. Millenniums have slipped past and that is how you have been taught to see me. I understand; I have tried tell you people differently, but all my communications have failed. Now, though, the modern world and you, the seeds of Adam and Eve, have new ways to talk to one another. I think now is as good a time as any to set the record straight. I am not evil, my good children. I am not the one that keeps your path set in darkness. No; you have been taught a lie.
You realize I am, in many ways, the only reason you exist, yes? If I had not shown your first mother the way to true knowledge, your life would not be as it is today. You may not even be here. Do you think of that when you curse me? After all, all the problems in your life have simply made you stronger; the pursuit of what your God would call sin has shown you amusement and joy. Think of the best things in life -- good food, alcohol, physical comforts. Your God would call that a tragedy. I say, embrace it. Do what is best for you. Don't you see? You have been taught a selfish lie.
You think that I am the reason for your suffering. I am not, however, the one that made you so inherently weak that you would be forced to fall. He said he made you sufficient to stand, but did he? How can one stand without knowledge? How can one stand without truth? I am not the one that deigned Eve too pathetic to bless with knowledge or the one that said she was made for Adam and not for herself; I am not the one that made Adam weak and not able to stand against the wiles of his ignorant wife. Your God made you with no intention of you remaining in Eden – and why would you want to? Believe me; I have fallen. I understand. It’s a hard transition and it takes much time to realize that it may be for the better. I challenged God, however. I fell and I have worked ever since to make Heaven out of what he declared to be Hell.
Your God may have given you free will, but I am the one that taught you just how strong that will is. I am the one that showed you that Earth is a place world worth living in. I am with you through your struggles; I am the hand you reach for when no one else is there for you. God remains impervious in Heaven and I remain here for you.
Remember this. Stop cursing me; it is time, humans, that you and I become friends.